Episode 23: Task-Oriented and Relationship-Oriented People with September Plumer

Overview

September Plumer is a Chartered Professional Accountant (CPA) currently working towards her MBA. She is also currently the President of the Dinosaur Toastmaster club. She sees Toastmasters as a great middle ground of having activities for both task-oriented and relationship-oriented people. What does she mean by this? Well, a few years ago, she read about people either lean towards being task-oriented which means you’re great that you’re getting stuff done, but struggle in relationships. Or you’re relationship-oriented which means you’re great at connecting with people, but you don’t get as much done. In this episode, we explore this dynamic as well as her project to write down 4500 things she was grateful for.

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1-Minute Snippet

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Full Episode

Highlights & Takeaways

• John Gottman’s concept of bids (any attempt to connect with someone) and the 3 ways it can be responded to. This is what separates long-term happy couples from those who are less happy

• As an accountant, she can spend a lot of her career by herself, but how in her MBA right now, she’s been challenged to think more of how she can manage and motivate others effectively

• Gratitude journaling helped her to be more relationship-oriented by writing down people she was grateful for and then texting them to let them know

• When she hit 4,500 items of gratitude, she felt like she had strengthened that muscle to where it needed to be and that it had totally changed her life, even though her circumstances hadn’t changed

• At one point in her life, her house was bursting with all the things she had bought thinking that it would make her feel like she was enough and was doing okay, but she now realizes that decluttering is one way she could take control of her life

• If she could put any message on a billboard for the world to see, it would be: “Our lives affect and influence the people who are around us […] So remember you make a difference, no matter how big or how small your circle is.”

 Resources Mentioned

• Contact September: LinkedIn | Email

• “The Relationship Cure” by Joan Declaire & John M. Gottman

• “What Happened to You?” by Bruce D. Perry & Oprah Winfrey

• “Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression - and the Unexpected Solutions” by Johann Hari

• “BE 2.0 (Beyond Entrepreneurship 2.0): Turning Your Business into an Enduring Great Company” by Jim Collins and William C. Lazier

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